If your voice disappears, cracks, or weakens during a performance, presentation, or even a big meeting — it’s not just bad luck.
And it’s definitely not just “poor technique.”
Here’s the truth most people won’t tell you:
You’re not losing your voice because you can’t speak.
You’re losing it because you can’t control what’s happening inside you.
Let’s break this down properly.
I have often been asked how I discovered and created the mindset and strategies of controlling interfering emotions that affect us in the workplace.
I’d like to share my story of how I discovered this.
I would like to share my story of how I had my “A-HA” moment that changed my mindset forever and has brought me here today.
In my mid twenties, I was contracted at the Vienna State opera! MY dream job!
I prepared my music and could sing in German, Italian, English and French!
Here comes the moment of meeting my coaches.
I couldn’t wait to get to work!
Everyday at rehearsal, my excitement to be there turned into my nightmare.
What was happening?
At every rehearsal, I was constantly being criticized, berated and told I was ”doing it wrong” by my bosses.
My bosses were the music conductors, coaches and the stage directors.
I was feeling attacked and criticized!
“You didn’t do that right, change this phrase and stop singing so loud!
“Questo non e justo!”
“What are you doing? I told you NOT to crescendo on that phrase!”
”Das is nicht was ich gesagt habe!”
“ I told you to go stage right not left!”
I became overwhelmed, defensive, angry and frustrated.
I took everything so personally.
I would react and, in my frustration would say:
“There’s nothing wrong with what I did, YOU told me to change that!”
I can’t sing it any softer!” “
“Quello che vuoi non e possibile!”
“Das ist nicht mein Schuld! This is not my fault!”
“There are directions on the page that say crescendo!!!”
Can you imagine my state of mind? I was defensive in THREE languages!
I was constantly fighting to be right!
I became uncooperative and difficult to work with.
This constant bombardment was destroying my ability to perform. I dreaded going to work and having to face my bosses.I became anxious, angry and full of stress. I was noticing that my voice was weakening and any confidence I had was disappearing.
I remember walking to my apartment crying and devastated, not knowing what to do. I’d had enough. I didn’t want to stay at this job.
This was the Vienna State Opera and Chrissellene wanted to leave! Every singer in the world dreamed of being contracted at this prestigious opera house! My emotional turmoil and confusion was something I could no longer endure.
My voice was weakening and my confidence was gone. So what did I do?
I called my parents in the United States.
I can’t do this! I want to leave! Everything I do is wrong and criticized! They don’t like me.
These coaches and conductors don’t even know WHO I am, They don’t know my morals, values, principals, if I have a family, or even a dog.
They don’t know where I come from or even know my first name.
Then it hit me!
What did I just say?
THEY DON’T KNOW WHO I AM??
If they don’t know who I am, THEN WHAT AM I SO UPSET AND FRUSTRATED ABOUT?
Why am I reacting so with such anger and frustration?
Why am I taking them so personally?
This is when I had my “AH-HA” moment.
It changed my professional life forever!!
You know what I realized?
I realized they are not criticizing me, they don’t know me personally…….they’re criticizing what I’m presenting…… My skills….
I began to think about it: THEY ARE CRITICIZING MY SKILLS NOT ME!
I realized that WHO I am is NOT WHAT I do!
There’s Chrissellene the private person and there’s Chrissellene the professional person!
That’s when I decided I had to separate who I am from what I do!
I had to STOP wrapping my identity around my profession!
I realized that I took everything personally and my defensive emotions were constantly interfering with my skills.
It was all of my uncontrolled interfering negative emotions that were overpowering my ability to receive any constructive criticism!
I decided if I wanted a career, I had to find a way to think and control my interfering emotions.
This is when I created my “performance mode mindset’.
IT IS THE ABILITY TO TAKE POSITIVE FEEDBACK AND NEGATIVE CRITICISM IN A NON- PERSONAL MANNER.
Did you hear what I just said?
Performance Mode is the ability to take positive feedback and negative criticism in a non-personal manner.
Do you wonder why I said positive feed back? How would you react if you walked into a room and people are singing your praises and telling you how wonderful you are?? Would you be upset or complain or feel offended?
I don’t think so! Did it ever occur to you that positive feedback can be a problem as well?
Your emotions and ego interfere when you think you are “so amazing” and everyone LOVES you!
The reality and challenge is that you become weak and vulnerable to someone’s praise or accolade because you’re seeking to be liked, acknowledged and accepted.
You are drawn to that person who compliments you and thinks you’re awesome!
What happens is that your need to be liked or acknowledged allows them to control you
No matter how long or how hard you work, please understand that professional criticism will always be in your lives.
You will feel the devastating pressure and anxiety from being criticized about your skills. You will perform in a courtroom or on a stage, or in an office, where your critics and the media are watching and reporting on what you do.
Even if you accept and understand what I’m saying about separating who you are from what you do, and that you shouldn’t take criticism of your professional skills personally, the challenge of controlling your emotions will always exist.
Socrates, Aristotle, Abraham Lincoln, The Beatles, Thomas Jefferson, Luciano Pavarotti, Sandra Day O’Connor, Leonard Bernstein, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and even Albert Einstein faced tremendous criticism throughout their careers!
You can be the greatest lawyers and judges and opera singers, and you still will be criticized.
When you master these strategies, hopefully you will come to the point where comments and criticisms will no longer provoke or bother you.
This new mindset of identifying and separating me from my profession, gave me the skills to be open, welcoming and accepting to all comments, criticisms and circumstances…..WITHOUT TAKING IT PERSONALLY!
Not taking anyone or anything personally gave me the freedom, capacity and mastery to allow anyone or anything to disagree with me without me getting rattled, upset or confrontational.
The Performance Mode Mindset became a shield-like protection that freed me from my normal, spontaneous, knee-jerk emotions and defensive reactions.
I began to take positive or negative criticism, in a non-personal manner.
I was able to take feed back, without my ego swelling or becoming angry and defensive.
I no longer became hot-tempered or frustrated just because someone said something I didn’t agree with.
As a result, I actually looked forward to being told what to do ……or that I had made a mistake, because I was in control of my emotional reactions.
This gave me a profound self empowerment where I decided how to respond to anyone’s criticisms, not my emotions.
I was able to defuse and deflect potential tension and create a peaceful, positive and productive environment.
Remember you can lose your voice not only because of poor technique but because your emotions interfere with your vocal production.
I created a philosophy that I live by:
“Interpret criticism as something directed at your skills and not your value as a person!!”
2- The Real Reason You Lose Your Voice (It’s Not What You Think)
👉 Emotional interference
When you perform, your body doesn’t stay neutral.
It reacts.
And those reactions directly impact your voice.
I was singing major roles in Europe 6 times a week. I kept feeling tension in my throat and my high notes were strained.
Every time I left coaching, my throat ached. There was so much tension and fear became a daily challenge.
I would do the normal what everyone does:
- Drink hot tea and honey
- Warm up your voice: “zing, zing, zing or Mee-May-Ma-Moh-Moo” or Hummmm.
- Breathe from your diaphragm
- Put your arm up for high notes and imagine floating on a cloud!
- Bend over for those low notes!
These were misconceptions and hand-me-down information that misguided me.
- Because none of those fix your voice or are the actual trigger:
Of course you have to stay hydrated and warm up your voice.
But after I ruined my voice, I did scientific research and discovered singing on “zing, zing, zing or Mee-May-Ma-Moh-Moo” or Hummmm closed the throat and dropped the soft palate ending up constricting the vocal passageway for the air to come through the vocal folds!.
AND
We do not breathe from the diaphragm, but rather we breathe from our nose or mouth and the diaphragm pulls in air into our lungs!
BUT! BUT! BUT!
What no one ever discusses is the other 50% culprit!
YOUR INTERFERING EMOTIONS!
There’s something very important and I have to ask you:
Do you think mastering vocal techniques is enough?
Do you think mastering your profession is enough?
Do you think mastering a skill is enough? The answer is simply NO, NOT at all!
Just having excellent vocal technique, although necessary, is not enough to sustain the demands of a career.
Similarly, mastering the law is not enough to be a successful lawyer. Mastering the subject matter for a teacher, or mastering the skills to be a carpenter or a chef is by no means is this adequate or sufficient if you want a successful career.
What do you think is just as valuable, beneficial and important as having mastered the required knowledge and skills involved in achieving a successful career?
You need to also have the ability to control your emotions that interfere with your vocal techniques, profession, and your skills.
Everyone, no matter what your profession happens to be, needs to learn how to become aware and accept that your emotions interfere, undermine, sabotage, and devastate the ability to maintain, and preserve any career.
This is true for singers, lawyers, actors, servers, administrators, and teachers.
It is true for everyone!
This brings me to the core of this conversation.
You must be focused and aimed at helping you protect and shield your voice and profession from you and your interfering emotions.
It is the essence and is of great importance to me to inform you, because I found this out the hard way.
I want you to not go through what I had to live and figure out.
First: You have to be aware and learn that your emotions are a double edge sword.
Second, you will learn to be aware, monitor and control your positive and negative interfering emotions.
Third, you will analyse how positive and negative emotions interfere with your performance and your life.
Fourth, you will learn how and why your positive and negative emotions are triggered.
Fifth, you will learn about their devastating impact on you, and your chosen career.
Finally and most importantly, you will learn how to manage, deal with and be in charge of your interfering emotions.
Dealing with them requires you to acknowledge them, be aware of them; monitor them; stop and control them.
For this, you will be shown a proven strategy I developed, which I call “The Performance Mode Mindset”.
It was born due to my personal hardships and anguish.
This Performance Mode Mindset strategy is based on what I call, the 5 Rs.
This strategy is your gateway and opportunity
to build confidence.
Once you master these 5 Rs, you will be literally emancipated and free from your intrusive emotions.
You will no longer be overwhelmed or fall victim to your interfering emotions.
You will be unburdened and become free from those obstructing emotions.
This freedom is what achieving the performance mode mindset is all about!
3-What’s Actually Happening in Your Body
When you step into a performance situation, your body goes into a heightened state.
That could be:
- Nervousness
- Pressure
- Excitement
- Fear of judgment
- Desire to impress
Here’s the problem:
4-These emotions physically change how your voice works
They can:
- Tighten your throat
- Disrupt your breathing
- Increase tension in your neck and chest
- Make you push your voice harder than normal
That’s why:
- Your voice cracks
- Your voice gets weaker
- You run out of breath
- You feel like you’re “forcing it”
You’re not imagining it — your body is literally sabotaging your voice.
The Hidden Trap: It’s Not Just Nerves
Most people assume:
“I lose my voice because I’m nervous”
That’s only half the story.
Positive emotions can mess you up too
This is where it gets interesting.
You can also lose your voice when you feel:
- Excited
- Energised
- Confident
- Eager to impress
- Validated
Sounds counterintuitive, but here’s why:
👉 These emotions push you to overperform
You might:
- Speak louder than necessary
- Push your voice too hard
- Over-project
- Try to “give it everything”
And that’s exactly how you burn your voice out.
Why Vocal Technique Alone Isn’t Enough
You can have:
- Perfect breathing technique
- Strong vocal training
- Great posture
…and still lose your voice under pressure.
Because:
Technique works in practice.
Emotions take over in performance.
If you don’t control your internal state, your technique falls apart when it matters most.
The Identity Problem (This Is a Big One)
Here’s something most people never realise:
You’re tying your identity to your performance
So when you step on stage or speak up, it feels like:
- “This is me being judged”
- “If I mess this up, I look stupid”
- “I need to prove myself”
That pressure creates:
- Overthinking
- Tension
- Emotional spikes
And that feeds straight into your voice breaking down.
The Shift That Fixes Everything
If you want to stop losing your voice, you need a different approach.
Not more technique.
You need to switch into “performance mode”
Here’s what that means:
1. Separate YOU from your performance
You are not your voice.
You are not your presentation.
You are not your performance.
You’re simply executing a skill.
That alone removes a huge amount of pressure.
2. Stop reacting emotionally in the moment
Most people perform reactively:
- Someone looks bored → you panic
- You mess up a word → you spiral
- You feel tension → you push harder
Instead:
👉 You need to stay neutral and controlled
Think:
- “Deliver the message”
- Not “how am I being perceived?”
3. Control your output, not your feelings
You don’t need to eliminate emotions.
That’s unrealistic.
But you do need to stop letting them control your behaviour.
Even if you feel nervous:
- Keep your breathing steady
- Don’t push your volume
- Don’t rush your speech
Your job is consistency, not perfection.
Practical Fixes You Can Use Immediately
Let’s make this actionable.
Before performing:
- Don’t over-hype yourself (this creates emotional spikes)
- Stay calm, not pumped
- Focus on delivery, not outcome
During performance:
- Speak at 70–80% effort (not 100%)
- Pause more than you think you should
- Keep your breathing slow and controlled
- Don’t react to small mistakes
If your voice starts to go:
- Stop pushing immediately
- Lower your intensity
- Slow down your speech
- Reset your breathing
The worst thing you can do is try harder.
That’s how people completely lose their voice.
The Bottom Line
If you keep losing your voice during performances, it’s not because:
- You’re bad at speaking
- You lack technique
- You need more practice
It’s because:
You haven’t learned how to perform without letting your emotions take over.
Once you fix that:
- Your voice stabilises
- Your confidence increases
- Your performance becomes consistent
And ironically…
👉 You stop thinking about your voice altogether.
Want to see this system in action? Check out a FREE masterclass here
